I was disabled due to infertility and significant digestive problems in 1994. Two ectopic pregnancies, three miscarriages, and several bowel obstructions required the surgical removal of part of my small intestine, and several years later, I underwent an emergency hysterectomy. Some of the health conditions I experienced were dysmenorrhea (painful menstrual cramps and heavy bleeding), dumping syndrome (chronic diarrhea), and anemia. I had a total of 8 surgeries which left me dysfunctional, suicidal, depressed, and hopeless. To this day, I have several of these symptoms, and l am learning to manage them through diligence, self-care, and transformational healing. During my painful ordeal, I questioned my faith and mortality. In addition to my numerous health problems, I dealt with a Medical Malpractice Lawsuit that did not end in my favor. The emotional and physical stress was unbearable. When my OB-GYN told me I would never have children, I needed time to process and grieve that I would never have the opportunity to give birth to my children. Three years later, I decided to adopt a baby girl in China. Two weeks after the lawsuit ended, I was approached by a distant family that they were aware of a young woman who wanted to give her baby up for adoption.

 

I flew to Minnesota for a month with a foster family who took me in. I was at the hospital when the baby was born, not knowing if it was a boy or a girl. A beautiful pink perfect round head (Cesarean) baby girl was placed in my arms. I held her and felt numb…not sure how to feel. Is this my baby? It didn’t hit me right away that I AM a Mother! All I ever wanted was to have a child, and I have been Gifted a healthy baby girl. I questioned myself if I could take care of her with my health challenges. You know the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child” in my case, my entire family pitched in and supported me in raising her. I had an open adoption, which means biological parents participate in placing the child with an adoptive family and may continue to have contact after that. I named her Arianna Danielle. From the beginning, I wanted Arianna to know her biological mom or dad and vice versa. On her 18th birthday, she reconnected with her birth mother and maternal grandmother. She will never forget both her mother and family threw her an 18th Birthday party. Shortly after that, she flew to Minnesota to connect with her biological father and paternal grandparents. She discovered she had four siblings, two brothers and two sisters…that was quite a surprise since she was raised as an only child. Twenty-four years later, she has a Bachelor’s degree in Political Science and currently taking her Master’s in Law. She is beautiful, quiet, educated, intelligent, and sweet! Her Birth Mom is the most selfless, courageous, and lovely woman for blessing me with her child, who I have raised as her Earth Mom. My duty as her mother was to give her birth mother the peace of mind that the child she selflessly gave up for adoption was loved, cared for, provided, and protected. Every Mother’s Day is an opportunity to reflect on my journey to motherhood.

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